Pregnant and 41.

So I mentioned in my previous blog that I am pregnant. I think this subject deserves its own blog. Or two, or twenty thousand. Where to begin? Ok how about the beginning? It wasn't that long ago, October 2010 to be exact, that I found out that I am expecting a little one in June 2011. I know, it's really not a big deal to the average person... so what? I'm pregnant. Join the other millions of women in the world who have accomplished the same thing, right? True as that may be, it is a unique experience for each and every one of us...I tend to think that my situation is as unique as unique can be, but then again I am biased and have self appointed myself as the Queen of My Universe. hahahaha. (I'm sure those who know me well would vouch for that statement..with an exaggerated eye roll, of course. )
     Anyway. When I went about having my first generation of kiddos, I never really thought much about weight gain, there was no such thing as saving your child's cord blood, and the thought of a 4d  image of my child nestled in my womb was unheard of. I mean you can actually see the features!! HOW BIZARRE!
     Ok so being 40 when you find out you are pregnant in this day and age of advanced medical technology isn't really fun. To be precise, it is downright scary. You are told that you have 'old' eggs. Therefore, you have to go through all kinds of tests to determine whether or not your child has Down Syndrome, or some other type of abnormality due to the old egg thing. After a couple of months of mentally preparing myself for a child with disabilities...which ranged from reading books, scouring the internet, talking at length to friends, my mom, the dog, and the postman, I decided that I had enough. I mean....with all the stress this was causing me for what may or may not be a reality based on percentages....yes, percentages....I decided it wasn't worth it for me. I knew deep down in my heart that I wouldn't terminate this pregnancy even if I were told that something was 'wrong'. I totally understand that there are those who would choose to go the termination route. I'm not judging you. I feel that every woman has the right to choose...This is about me, though, and what I think and feel. So back to that.
     We can give birth to a 'normal' child. We can raise that child and he/she can become the President, Homeless, a Stripper, a Cop...a Bank Robber..I think you get my point...so what exactly is normal anyway?
     Ok so I made the decision to stop the testing, and enjoy this new journey. I had forgotten the feeling of little thumps in my belly. I also forgot that I would not have clothes anymore. I also forgot that I have absolutely nothing when it comes to baby clothes and cribs and diapers and baby wash and swings and playpens and all of the little gadgets REQUIRED for the smallest member of the household who has suddenly taken up so much  space...how is that possible? Baby proofing? Really? Where would I begin? 9 months really isn't that long after all, is it?
     So I have been scouring the internet for coupons and deals. Of course I have this long wish list of beautiful pink things, (yes, it's a she) but in reality, I know I can't go prancing in the nearest Baby's R Us and plop down almost $200 on a car-seat/stroller combo. It's simply not going to happen if we would like to eat this month. So what to do? Well, there's Craig'slist, of course...and I do have my sewing machine. I also know how to pray. So I am confident that I will have everything my child needs by the time she is born.
     In the meantime, I think about how this new addition to our family will enhance our existence. I know there is a reason for her, and I embrace the unknown.
     The journey continues.